guilt....I hate it.
2006-02-17, 4:25 p.m.

I forgot to update today. Not that I have a whole lot to say anyway. I'm still crabby. My bus was late today, so I didn't get my coffee and in my class this morning, I just couldn't get the words to come out right. Plus, our two assistants both called in sick so the other trainer, (my counterpart) had to assist me and she was so totally goofing off it was messing me up. She's supposed to advance the powerpoint presentation to the next screens, and do the demo's on the overhead, etc, but she was doing a crossword at the same time and then forgetting to advance, so I look like a total dweeb waiting for the next screen to come up, or saying, "well on the next screen you'll see..." etc. Yet she is the star pupil because she has the degree (sigh).

I talked to my exhusband yesterday. It was a disturbing conversation actually. I do try to call him once a month or so, just to see how he's doing. But this time, he sounded so drugged up. In case you're unaware, he suffers from a very agressive form of psoriatic arthritis, which is basically psoriasis of the joints. Anyway, he didn't know what day it was, nor could be barely even make sense. It made me feel bad for him. It made me feel bad too that if I hadn't left him, I'd be there to take care of him....and I feel guilty that I'm not. I know it's not my issue, and it's my life, etc...but guilt is guilt sometimes and you just can't help it.

So...that's about all there is. Eagle and I are going to Indiana this weekend to visit her aunt and uncle. I'm looking forward to it, I always feel at home there and it's just very relaxing and comfortable. I have Monday off, so I won't be back till Tuesday. Have a good weekend!

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