Yucky
2005-05-23, 10:24 a.m.

Okay so it's been awhile since we fought most of the weekend, so I guess we were due.

I knew it was coming. I was feeling like I was losing myself again. I hate that. See Eagle (like both my other ex's) has very particular tastes in music, movies, activities, etc. I, on the other hand, have very wide and flexible tastes. Therefore, I tend to get long with just about anybody's tastes. With that said, 95% of the time we are in the car, we listen to HER music, when we are at home we are usually watching some news television, with the exception of American Idol, when we go to the movies, she picks, etc..... Now most of the time, I really don't care, and I say so. But sometimes I do care and sometimes it builds up and I start to feel resentment because I never get to choose. I never can just decide to read a book at home because if I do, she takes it personally that I'm trying to ignore her. If I change the station I have to hear her whine about not liking this song or that song. If I put a movie on to watch that she doesn't like well then all hell breaks loose and she's accusing me of not spending ANY time with her, of trying to avoid her, of hogging the t.v. ALL THE TIME. Etc. Well this is what transpired on Saturday night. I was livid. I let her have it all.

She heard me, she tried her best to turn it around, but I was having none of it. I didn't care if we fought all weekend, I was sick of being told what to watch, what to listen to, etc... I am sick of not being able to make a damn decision for myself.

I don't really think that the fight is going to change much. The fact is she needs a lot, a lot, a lot, of attention all the time. That's just the way it is. I'm sure years down the road it'll be better, but for now, I'll just have deal. But at least I got to let out my greivences for awhile.

So that was my weekend. Cleaning, fighting, and crying. Yucky. Let's hope this week is better.

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