just tired
2003-05-30, 9:12 a.m.

Okay, tell me that this would not drive anybody crazy!

I get home last night and MyLove doesn't even look at me, she gets in the car to drop me off without saying a word. So I say, "are you mad about something?" "No," she says. Then she asks me, "are you mad?" I say no, well actually I say yeah I'm mad that I've got to shell out $400.00 for my car, but I'm not mad at her. We get to the place. I tell her I'm going for my tanning appoinment then my therapist apppointment and I'll be home around 8:00. She says, "whatever." No, goodbye, no I love you, not even any eye contact. So once more I ask her what is wrong. She says, "I'm fine." So I get out of the car and she drives away.

I pay for my car, go to my appointments and then head home. Once again, I get home, no eye contact, no how are ya, no hug, no kiss, no nothing. So I once more try to talk to her, ask her how she's feeling. She says fine. Ask her if she's upset about something. She says she's not. Finally, I give up, make myself something to eat (as she had already eaten without me, but whatever); change clothes, grab my book and settle on the couch to read. Meanwhile she's playing solataire on the computer.

I just get into my book and she says, "you can have this ash tray (as I was looking for the other one), cause I'm going to bed." I asked her why she was so tired? She said she only got a few hours of sleep because of the dogs. Then she takes the ashtray, empties, and then throws it down on the table. I just kept reading.

She goes to bed, but doesn't sleep. I hear her watching t.v. and talking to the dogs. Saying, "I love you" to them and giving them kisses. I wonder if she's doing it to piss me off. But whatever. I keep reading.

An hour or so later, she comes out and sits down to have a smoke and asks me why I'm so quiet! I say, cause you were so quiet, I figured you didn't want to talk. She doesn't say anything. A few minutes later she goes back to bed and says very snotty, "nice talking to you." I replied, "yeah, you too."

Finally it's time for me to go to bed. So I get up and go in the bedroom. She's still up, watching CSI. I lay down, roll on my side and try to sleep. She says, "if you get any colder, you might want to sleep in the other room." I ignored her. She says, "what's up with you?" I said, "nothing's up with me, but I guess now that you're talking, you've gotten over whatever was bugging you earlier." She says, "nothing was bugging me." So I roll over and still, we've made no eye contact yet, so I ask her to look at me. She says no. Finally she looks at me, cause I don't stop staring at her. I say, "I love you." She says, "I love you too." One more time I ask her what is wrong. She says nothing. She's just tired. I said okay, rolled over and fell asleep.

Could someone please tell me what the fuck that was all about? What is her problem? I don't get it. But I'm getting really tired of trying. And really tired of her attitude, her selfishness, and whatever. Tired of her period. Fuck her!

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