fighting back tears again
2003-06-05, 11:53 a.m.

She just called me. She was upset because she couldn't find a shirt of hers that I wore. When she found it, it was wrinkled. I apologized.

She called back a little while later, wondering, "what we are doing in this relationship." She's having her doubts again. Fuck.

I asked her if she wanted me to talk her into staying or out of staying. She said, neither.

I told her that I had hoped when she was talking about how facing her own mortality would make her realize how special this relationship was. She said she did think of that. But she doesn't know if we are the right ones for each other. I told her we'll never know for sure.

I told her until she can accept a one-on-one relationship with all the good, the bad, and the ugly that goes with it....she'll never be the right one for anyone, except herself.

She said she loves me, I said I love her too. Then we hung up. And now I fight back tears once again.

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