not singing the blues
2003-07-22, 8:44 a.m.

I'm still doing good. I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday. I kept going round and round in my mind about how MyLove can be all that I've wanted her to be all of a sudden, but she couldn't do it before. I think maybe she never wanted to move into the house with me and she was determined not to make it work. Now that she has the green light to move out, she can just be happy. I don't think any of that was necessarily a concious decision on her part either. I think she just moved in with me so she wouldn't lose me and found that she was very unhappy with the situation and didn't know how to handle it.

Anyway, we're still getting along really well. For the first time in our whole relationship I don't feel any pressure to make her happy anymore. I figure she's already moving out, I don't really need to keep trying to make her happy and that has left me feeling like a weight has been lifted.

As far as her moving goes, she says she's still going to do it, but doesn't seem to be able to pin down a date. Part of me thinks she may not go at all, but I won't let myself hang on to that hope.

In other news I've decided that I am going to take singing lessons. I am way excited. I love to sing, maybe I can learn to sing well! I feel like it's something I've found that would make me happy.

Well off to do some work now. Thanks for the comments everyone! Oh, and for those of you who are curious as to what I look like. I finally posted some pics, but you'll need to Email Mefor the password.

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