big splash or no.
2005-07-27, 9:33 a.m.

Well day three of no smoking. Last night was not very hard at all. Eagle was very tired. She managed to get ahold of a 1/4 ounce of pot, and with no ephedra pills, she was very tired. She got crabby for a brief moment, which is the first time in a long time. So I asked her why? She didn�t know, but it didn�t last long.

She said she felt guilty for getting the quarter and then she handed what was left over to me to hang on to and keep away from her. We�ll just see how that goes. But she�s making huge strides again. I think that maybe the plateau in her recovery is now moving again....let�s hope.

Work is starting to get exciting. I got my dreamweaver software to make updates/additions to our website and training sites. I got microsoft publisher to work on our pamphlets and training materials. I LOVE that kind of stuff. I can�t wait till this job is more familiar and my boss has more confidence in me. I suppose in time that will happen.

I keep thinking that I need to come up with some brainstorm of an idea to impress them, but that�s a dangerous thought because I set myself up for failure that way. I suppose it�s better to just be consistent and plug away then to try and make a big splash. I feel so out of my element sometimes. I think, what am I doing here??? I�m used to someone handing me work to do and I do it. I�m not used to this freedom, this need for self-reliance. I�m not complaining mind you, just feeling a bit out of sorts.

Well that�s it for now, just waiting to hear from my mentor I suppose you could call her. She works in a different office and is coming down to work with me on my presentation skills this morning.

last - next