Feeling grumpy today
2005-01-05, 9:57 a.m.

Well I managed to get to work nearly an hour late. My bus, nor the two after my bus, never showed up. Finally 45 minutes after I arrived at the bus stop, one came along. Of course it was full. I managed to get a seat next to a very odd woman, but I made it to work, got scoweled at by the boss, and now I'm trying to get some work done.

I'm feeling kind of crabby today. I'm not sure why really. I'm irritated with Eagle from yesterday. Why? Because she's been complaining over and over again that when I get home from work I don't act happy to see her, I plop on the couch and ignore her. Well last night I made every effort to show her that I was happy to see her. I gave her a hug, sat next to her on the couch, etc. and what did I get for my efforts? I got told that I was irritating her. What the fuck ever. So then later in the evening Eagle says, after this show we'll go upstairs and cuddle so you can get to sleep early. So we get up stairs and get in bed, I scoot over to her and she gets irritated. What the fuck? I'm so sick of the contradictions. It's like living in a fun house where nothing is as it seems and everything can change in an instant.

I'm just down, and I miss the fun, happy, loving Eagle. If that person doesn't return, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I just know that if she stays the angry, irritating, lazy, grumpy, bitchy, asshole that she's been forever....I know that I can't stay in love with that person. I can feel that within me.

Well I'd better get to work before the boss cracks the whip!

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