angry lunatics
2004-01-13, 9:02 a.m.

What is up with the drama that keeps finding me? Finally it seems that my life was starting to smooth out. MyLove and I are great, home life was good, things were great....and then bam! Roommate woman freaks out and physically assaults me last night. What the fuck?

First she verbally assaulted me. She called me names, and said really horrible things to me. So, when I tried to defend myself she ran into her room and shut the door. At that moment I was furious and I pushed open her door and she lunged at me. I was taken by such surprise all I could to was pry her off of me and restrain myself from knocking her block off. Roommateguy jumped in at that moment and then she spit in my face. She actually spit in my face. I was dumbfounded. I looked at her as if she'd lost her mind, threatened calling the police on her and then backed out the door. Roommateguy and her stayed in the bedroom screaming and yelling. He told her that she was absolutely in the wrong and that she needs to stop it, etc.

In the meantime I was left alone, shaking, and bleeding from a scratch on my face. Mylove was at home so I called her. I needed to hear her voice, I needed to feel her comfort. Her initial reaction was anger at roommate woman. She told me I should call the cops, that I should kick her out on the spot, etc. But I just couldn't follow her advice. I think it frustrated her that she couldn't be there with me, and that I wasn't doing things the way she would have done it. It made us realize just how different we are. If she had been there, guaranteed it would have escalated into something more, and the cops probably would have been involved. But that's not me. I'm a peace keeper, not a fighter.

Anyway, now I'm left feeling strange. I'm angry that roommate woman did what she did. But I also feel bad for her. I don't know why. What is wrong with me that I can still feel compassion for this person who just physically and verbally assaulted me for no reason? Is that a bad thing? Why am I left feeling guilty because I told her I want her out of my house?

The fact is, I don't want to have to tip toe around someone because they might go off at any moment. That's ridiculous.

It's all such a stupid mess, I can hardly believe it came to this. I thought school yard fights ended in Junior High....but I guess not.

The worst part about all of this is that, although I knew roommate woman was odd and had some mental issues, I never believed she would say and do the things she did. It has thrown my idea of her so out of whack, that I'm left questioning my confidence in my ability to "know" people and what they are capable of.

Am I destined to become hard and bitter just to protect myself from a world full of angry lunatics? It saddens me and it discourages me.

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