sex
2004-01-26, 8:46 a.m.

Is it really Monday morning again? Already? Damn.

I had a good weekend though. I have to say I was very surprised at the comment I received from somebody named Haz on my last entry. It kills me that people can read what you write and take it so differently than how it was meant. You know? I mean I made that entry because I felt I needed to express that I felt bad for not taking my civic duty as responsibly as I should have, and that I wanted to change that. Then I get someone who chastises me for it....like I'm ten or something. But whatever. I thank the other folks who stood up for me. You guys are great.

So MyLove and I had a great weekend again. We had a bit of a tiff in the middle of sex though. I'd been horny, and I hadn't gotten any sex from her in a few weeks. So, I was deterimined to get some Saturday night. I started out by giving her a full body massage. Which she seemed to thouroughly enjoy. But that was as far as I could go because it was her time of the month. So then she started to make love to me. And it was great. It felt wonderful, but the problem was it ended way too fast. So I told her I was still feeling horny, but she was tired, so I told her I'd continue myself, but she didn't like that idea. So she went ahead and "got me off" again. But it felt like she just wasn't into it. When I mentioned it to her, she thought that I was critiquing her, but that wasn't it. I just felt like she wasn't really in the mood, but did it for me, just to please me anyway. I guess I was feeling guilty for that, and somewhat hurt that she didn't want to have sex with me, and it seemed that she hadn't wanted to lately either. I realize it's my own insecurities playing into it, but that is just how I felt.

MyLove explained that sometimes she likes to just close her eyes and think about the sex. And that totally makes sense. I just get scared when things change between us, because in the past those changes have meant that something was going on with her that usually wasn't a good thing for us. But I have to stop thinking that way. The fact that we talked it out, without getting angry, and I still got some good sex, is a good thing.

The only problem with her and I having such wonderful weekends together is that Sunday when she goes home, it hurts. So yesterday I focused those feelings into a cleaning frenzy. Now my house and my room are spotless! But I also have some mighty sore muscles.

Well I'd better get to doing some work. Hope everyone had a great weekend. Oh and I watched the L-Word again, and I still LOVE that show!

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