writing my book and longing for peace again
2004-02-05, 9:30 a.m.

I started writing last night. I wrote until my hand could write no more. I want to document my life. Would I like to sell it and get rich? Sure. But even if I don't, I want it for me. I've wanted to do this for some time now, but I just didn't know where to start. So last night I just put pen to paper and started. So far, I like it. I have to keep reminding myself to take it a few pages at a time and stop worrying about the entire project. I'm a decent writer, but I sometimes lack creativity. So the challenge for me is to write about my life in an entertaining way. But isn't that really the challenge of all writers? Yeah I guess.

I think my roommates will be moving soon. I spoke with roommate guy last night, very honestly about roommate woman. I told him that I can't see how he stands being with her. She has got to be one of the most miserable people I've ever met. He says she feels "uncomfortable" living with me. Apparently the whole "gay thing" bothers her. And of course, the relationship I have with roommate guy bothers her too. She's just a very unhappy person and she's brought a lot of negative vibes into my home. I want her and her vibes gone. Seriously, before they moved in, I had no problems with the house, they move in and I've had all sorts of problems. I believe in energies, positive and negative, and that they affect people, places, and things. I want her negative energy gone. I miss my peaceful home.

I've come to realize that sometimes its not possible to like and think highly of people. I used to be adverse to feeling negative about other people, but sometimes its just not possible to feeling anything but negatively about some people. It saddens me to realize that, but on the other hand life is made up of balances and I suppose if there are people who are highly positive, there has to be a population of people who are highly negative, but that doesn't mean they have to live with me!

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