Life sucks today
2006-02-07, 8:44 a.m.

Well it�s Tuesday and I�m not feeling all that well. I�ve had an achey ear for a few days now, my nose is running, and I think I�ve got a mild sinus infection. Plus, I have training everyday this week, except today. AND I found out that my co-worker, who has the same title as me, has been selected to go back to San Antonio, TX for a week in March to learn some more stuff. But I have to stay behind and pick up the slack for her absence. How fair is that? I know life isn�t fair and she has the college degree.

Last night Eagle was a little better, but I did not back off at all. I told her that she is going backwards in her recovery, and that she�s using court as an excuse to get high morning, noon, and night and I�m sick of it and I�m not going to sit back and just watch her do it without saying something. And if that makes me �mean� then so be it. She didn�t have much to say, what could she say really?

So we spent a quiet evening just watching Skating with the Stars, and we both cleaned up the kitchen together. We have a clogged drain in the sink and the dishwasher is acting up. We�ve got a plumber coming to do the work and thankfully Eagle�s mom is paying the bill....yes that is one perk of being with Eagle.

I think I�m more crabby lately than usual anyway. I�m sick of the winter, I need a vacation, and I�m sick of being broke. Plus I need to get over to my grandma�s house and visit with her and I feel guilty that I haven�t done that since I helped her move into her new place a few weeks ago. I miss my mom, and wish my dad wasn�t such a putz. I miss my Ex still...I�ve decided that�ll never ever go away. But I�m just burned out. I need to get away from it all. But that�s not going to happen anytime real soon, so it just pisses me off even more.

Oh and to top it all off, I�m sick of trying to lose weight and failing. I take the dog for walks, I walk to and from the bus, I bowl every Friday, I pace in front of a class three hours a day, several days a week, yet I do not lose one freaking pound. I know I need to get an eating plan and stick with it. Cut out the regular pops, of which I only drink one to two a day, but it�s sugar and calories. But I eat around five small meals a day, like they say to do. I don�t eat a lot of junk. It�s just not fair. Eagle can eat horribly day after day after day, and yeah she�s gained some weight, but if I ate like her, I�d be 600 pounds! It�s just so not fair. Life sucks today.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

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