Back on the bright side
2006-02-08, 12:38 p.m.

I'm in a better frame of mind today. Eagle is doing better. She went to her GYN yesterday and got a new script for birth control pills. Part of her problem this past week or so has been PMS. She had run out of pills over a month ago and when she is not on the pill her PMS is horrid. So she's back on the pills now, which is good, she was in a better frame of mind, but still touchy. We were talking about when she is on probation she'll have to give up pot and she at one point said, "I should really just kill myself." I said, "you mean you'd rather DIE then give up drugs?" She didn't say much....but I think the question made her think.

So her lawyer called and wants her to get a letter from her psychiatrist outlilning her conditions and what a jail sentence would do to her. So she went to see her shrink today and her doctor was very reluctant to give her this info. I really think she's going to end up spending 30 days in jail. I'm worried about it because I know that jail can breed worse behavior in some people, and I'm afraid that could happen with her. I mean she's going to be going through withdrawal, if anyone offers her ANYTHING, she's gonna take it. I mean what if comes out addicted to soemthing else? Or, what if she gets hurt in there? Or hurts herself? I'm just afraid for her to be in there for that long. Not to say that I wouldn't enjoy 30 days of alone time, cause I certainly would.

Despite being irritated with Eagle this week, I am proud that she has gotten up and done what she needed to do all week long. Which is a good thing. But I've decided when her PMS strikes what happens is, she channels the annoying spirit of a 12 year old boy. A boy who likes to punch the arm of the girl he likes, or thinks it's cute to throw his dirty socks at you, etc. That is what she is like when she gets that way and I pointed it out to her last night. She snickered like a 12 year old about it, but I told her she needs to get back to keeping that 12 year old under wraps.

So things are looking up, I never do stay down long I guess. I'd rather look at the bright side, then the dark side of things. It's just more appealing to the eyes, ears, and heart.

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