lots of rambling
2004-03-08, 2:50 p.m.

This sucks. I'm horny and I need sex, but MyLove is working too much so even when I do see her, she's too tired, or one or both of us on our period. It just really sucks. I sometimes wish that I could just go out and have sex and not even think about it, you know? People do it all the time and they live with it. It doesn't seem to bother them. But me? Shit, I feel guilty just having those kinds of thoughts. I'd never be able to actually do it. So I guess it's up to me to keep my sexually gratified for awhile.

I'm debating right now whether to stay in the house until they sell it, or move out now. It's really cheaper to stay in the house, but if they end up selling it in the next month or two, I'll then have to find some place to stay for like three months until MyLove's lease is done in August and we can buy a house. So it's a catch 22. Right now, I'm leaning towards staying in the house because I do believe that it is over priced right now so chances are it'll be awhile before they sell it. The only pain in the ass is that I have to have people in to see it all the time, but oh well.

MyLove and I had a discussion this weekend. Actually I screamed and yelled at her for awhile about the whole ExFromHell situation. I told her that if she had just moved out back in NOVEMBER when I had told her to, this would not be a problem. I could just move in with MyLove. But she didn't kick her out then and she's not going to kick her out now and once again I have to either deal with it or not. The thing is...all other parts of our relationship are wonderful. So I'll deal with it. But MyLove at one point said, "SeekingMe, I'm not going anywhere. You could tell me to leave right now, and I would, but I'd call you later." I busted out in tears. It just reaffirmed that she is not looking to run away from me anymore. We just need to get through this and we will. I know that we will.

I'm just praying that nobody wants to buy this house until after August! Good luck!

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