The days just keeping plugging along
2006-03-14, 8:48 a.m.

Okay this is not funny. Yesterday it was nearly 70 degrees, today it's 32 with wind chills way below that. I cannot wait for summer.

Eagle is depressed, its starting to sink in that she'll have to go to jail in a few weeks. I told her that it's perfectly normal to feel wide ranges of emotions at a time like this. She's so used to chaulking things up to her mental illnesses, or her addictions, or whatever. But sometimes it's normal to feel the way she feels. In fact, I think she's handling this better then some people might.

So we went to dinner and then grocery shopping, went home and watched some t.v. Despite my adamance that I would never watch it, Wife Swap has pulled me in a few times. Especially when there's not much else to choose from. So I flipped between that and Deal or No Deal. I have to admit that Wife Swap does seem to show some extreme families a different way of living. I guess that's a good thing. But how much of it is real? I wonder if they have some psychologists on staff helping these people along the way...I sure hope so.

Tonight is American Idol and though I LOVE the show, I'm not real happy about it tonight because they are all singing Stevie Wonder songs. What the? Oh well, I'm sure it'll still be good.

I've been thinking of all the things I"ll do while Eagle is in jail. Go out to dinner with friends, maybe go to the bar, try to get to church, and it ocurred to me. Why don't I do that stuff when she's not in jail? I mean I do play bridge once a month that's about the the only socializing I do on a regular basis. I know Eagle would be jealous at first if I called and said I was going to dinner with co-workers before I came home, but she'd get used to it eventually. I don't know this 30 days is going to be a good and a bad thing in some ways for me. It's going to give me a taste of the freedom that I've craved off and on over the past two years. But it's only 30 days. Will it make those cravings even stronger? Or maybe I can work them into my life with Eagle and start broadening my horizons while still maintaining a healthy relationship with her. We'll see. It's all too much to think about right now anyway.

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