Strange Morning
2003-03-20, 11:10 a.m.

I guess you could say MyLove and I had a fight this morning, but it didn't last long. She usually calls me around 7:15 in the morning on her way home from work. This morning, I hadn't heard from her, so I walked into the den and saw that the phone was off the hook. Then I noticed that she had called twice. So, naturally, I called her. I'm greeted with "fuck you" click. So I call back, click. Third time, I call back and she's pissed. She starts ranting about how she couldn't get a hold of me, and if I didn't want to talk to her, just let her know, and she's sounding rather hysterical. I finally break in enough to tell her that the dog had knocked the phone off the hook. Then it came out that really she was just very worried. She said when she called the first time she heard a commotion on the other end, and then nothing. She thought maybe I'd fallen or something. Anyway, it was nice that she was worried about me...but gee whiz...was the hositlity really necessary?

I've come to realize that she expresses her fear in the form of anger. And, I think that she expresses a lot of different emotions with anger. So, we're okay and all. Once I explained the situation she calmed down and apologized. I'm left wondering though if this is something I can deal with. Well, actually I know that I can deal with it, but do I want to? I'm certainly not going to break up with her for it...but is it something I should bring up and ask her if she is willing to lighten up a bit and try expressing herself in a different way.

Very strange morning to say the least. But all in all it left me feeling that MyLove is not always as confident as she portrays herself to be. If the fact that she couldn't reach me for 15 minutes this morning led her to believe that I might be breaking up with her is any indication, then she is not as cocky as I thought. Maybe she does have some of the same fears I have. In a very twisted way, that's kinda cool.

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