Goodbye Grandma
2007-04-02, 1:47 p.m.

Well, grandma passed away. Her kidneys just shut down and my uncle elected not to have her hooked up to dialysis being that she was 86 and had many other health problems too. She wanted to get out of her failing body for a long time. I know this to be true with all my heart and if you believe that death is not an end, but a transition (as I do) then it was time for her to transition. It was sad, don't get me wrong. I will miss her. She was one of the smartest women I've ever known. She could kick Ken Jennings' butt in Jeopary when she was in her prime. But she has not been in her prime for a very long time.

I am very luck in some ways. My great grandmother lived until I was 23, so I got to experience her life and her lessons, my grandmother lived to be 86 and I got to learn from her as well. And though my mother lost her battle at age 59, I still learned so very much from her. Those three women were the strongest, smartest women I ever knew and I try to live my life in their honor.

So we had the funeral on Friday and it was good. However, the pastor began to get very preachy near the end and it angered me. Yes, my grandmother was a religious person, but she would not want her funeral to become a recruiting service to "save" the sinners, which is what it started to become. I told Eagle afterwards that I would come back and haunt her if she let that happen at my funeral. In fact, don't even have a Pastor there. Have all my friends and family speak of me and play some music and then party afterwards. That's what I want.

After the service there was a luncheon at the church with real homemade lasagna that I know my grandma would have just loved. I made up a plate for grandpa who devoured it. He has really lost most of his mind to demensia, but I think that on some level he got that his wife had passed away because I asked if he knew why we were there and he said, "we're here for the funeral and I'm going to miss her."

Finally, after lunch my Uncle handed me an envelope which contained a letter written to my from my grandmother over a year ago that she never gave me for some reason. It said that she has always loved me and is proud of me. Her letters were pretty much straight to the point over the past few years because her eyesight was so bad. Also in the envelope was a very hefty amount of U.S. Savings Bonds in my name. I was really floored by the amount. It's enought to pay off all the rest of my debt, and have a large amount to invest in a savings of some sort. Probably a CD. It's also going to cause me to pay a pretty penny next year in taxes, but I'm not complaining. Bless you Grandma for wanting to provide for your family even after your passing.

I'm back to work and I rescheduled my doctor appointment until next Monday. Health wise I'm doing pretty good though. Oh and my step sister who used to live with Eagle and I came up for the funeral and stayed with us so it was nice to see her.

last - next