motivational infomercial
2004-04-09, 7:45 a.m.

Feeling a bit calmer this morning. I had pleasant dreams of a happy family life in our new home. Before I had fallen asleep I had asked that my answers be given to me in my dreams. HOPEFULLY, that is what those dreams meant.

I'm still scared that MyLove will change her mind at the last minute, but if she does, then that's okay. That is what is meant to be.

I also thought about something else last night. Yeah, MyLove has had a hard time letting go of her ex. But in some ways I'm glad she is the way she is. Her ex has needed someone to help her through some rough times, including hip replacement surgery. She has no one else in her life she can count on. I suppose I should be happy that MyLove is the type of person who would not let someone she cared about down.

Granted, she has made many unwise decisions along the way. Decisions that have hurt me greatly. BUT, if I go back to the whole "what is meant to be" theory. Maybe this things had to happen the way they've happened for a reason.

I have to say that this relationship has made me stronger than I ever imagined I could be. And IF MyLove and I get through this, I believe that we'll be able to get through anything.

So yeah, I'm feeling better today. I'm taking my hands off the situation. Letting go and letting God as they say. I trust in a power greater than myself.

And yes, I'm happy. For today I am happy. Tomorrow I'll reexamine and if that answer is no. I'll figure out why then. I'll take each day as it comes.

My God I sound like a motivational infomercial!

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