Vent
2005-04-19, 3:14 p.m.

Venting now....

So, Eagle and I have talked and talked and talked and talked and talked AND talked about her cutting down on the pot. She goes through an ounce a week. For those not in the know....that's $125.00 a week times four weeks, is $500.00 a month! $500.00 a month! That is why we are broke all the fucking time. Not to mention why she coughs all the time, her voice has dropped several octaves, and her throat hurts.

Now keep in mind, I don't really fund this for her. Her parents do (unwittingly). So it's not coming out of MY money perse, but still....it's crazy.

So today she is out of pot and won't have money for more until Friday. So she's of course, HAVING A BAD DAY. Then she tells me that she's going to ask her supplier to front her some until Friday. I said wait a second. If you do that, you're just gonna start digging a hole that will never be filled.

Then I reminded her about her HEALTH and all the reasons she is supposed to be cutting down and that going a few days without WILL NOT KILL HER! But she doesn't want to hear that right now.

I just don't get it. She won't even TRY to go a few days without. I want to choke her sometimes. I mean $500.00 a month could be really useful to us. It could be vacations, or a house, or big kid toys....whatever. I'm just really really really frustrated right now.

I know, I know, I know....why am I with her. I love her. She's great in many ways, and I'm not going to justify it. I am with her....but I am also venting.

So end of vent...and no I don't feel any better yet. Thanks for asking.

I think I'm going to email her a breakdown of the money we spend on pot and what we could buy for it. Maybe that will get it through her head. I don't know. Sigh.

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