what have I done?
2004-04-26, 8:29 a.m.

I'm here. I'm alive. But I'm exhuasted. I had one of the most exhausting weekends ever.

I'm afraid to admit that I am in way over my head with Eagle. I knew that she had problems. I knew that she would need a lot from me as a partner, but I guess I just never really knew how much. Until now.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I feel like I now have two full time jobs. I feel trapped into this because she is so emotionally unstable that I can't even back off for a while without her freaking right now. But I fear if I stay in this intensity much longer I'll lose my mind.

She keeps promising me this will pass, and I know that it will, but I know it'll be back again, and again, and again. It may never stop. I don't know if I can handle that.

But there's no half way with her. I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but after experiencing this overload of emotionaly highs and lows all weekend long, and never knowing when the next mood will hit, I almost crave MyExLove's emotional coolness and control.

Oh dear God, what have I done?

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