Called off yesterday
2005-05-17, 9:05 a.m.

I called off sick yesterday. Sunday was a big challenge with Eagle. She slipped into a depression deeper than I've seen in quite some time. This party is really stressing her, and her mother's neurotic side is coming out during all of this, plus Eagle's hormones are going kind of crazy, not to mention she took too many Xanax the day before. All of that added up to one really depressed Eagle. Not only that, but her insomnia was at it's worst, so that led to me getting to sleep around 4:30 a.m. Monday morning. I tried to get up at 6:00 and go to work, but I couldn't even see straight. My body was exhausted my mind was messed up, and my emotions were crazy, so I bit the bullett and called in. Surprisingly, I must have sounded pathetic enough that my boss did not give me a hard time about and even said she hoped I feel better, and I didn't even have to go get a doctor's note. Thank God.

So we slept in till around 11:00, then Eagle got some phone calls done about the party, we went to Office Max and got some more supplies for the collages we are doing. Let me tell you right now, our biggest expense so far has been inkjet cartidges, holy cow!

Eagle was still very depressed yesterday, but better than the day before. Hopefully she'll be even better today.

Other than that we did not do much this weekend, except Friday. Friday we finally, finally, reinacted some of our courtship days and had a really really great time on the livingroom floor...if you get my drift.

I've been so preoccupied with Eagle (so what else is new?) that I haven't really done much thinking about me. Though I have come to a good place within this relationship. One that allows me to not forget who I am, yet still be there for Eagle, who does need a lot more than many. However, over the past few months her maturity has grown so much, it's very impressive. I've told her recently that her ONLY downfall now is her addictions. That's all that is standing in the way of her being a "normal" productive adult. She agrees with me too. Which is very impressive. She is no longer blaming everything and everybody else for her problems. I don't even think she realized that she stopped doing that. But she has. That's a huge step to recovery.

I have my counseling session tonight, I'm looking forward to it. That's about it.

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