very much in love
2004-05-25, 8:24 a.m.

Only four days until my vacation starts! I cannot wait. It feels like years since I've had a vacation.

Eagle seems to have come to some self-realizations lately. It's amazing to see her grow and do so well. Truly well. There's been no drinking, and no tantrums. She's told me that she's heard what I've been saying and she agrees.

She's also been working so hard that she's getting in shape and looking damn fine! I've always been physically attracted to her, but with the confidence blooming in her and the sun on her skin, she's looking really great.

With Eagle I've realized something that had escaped me all my life, I don't need sex from someone to feel loved by them. That's a big revelation to me, believe it or not. I'm not sure what impact this has on me, but I'm sure there is one.

Everyday I am reminded of just why it was so hard for me to resist my feelings for Eagle. I'm also thankful that I decided to give this relationship a chance.

Best case scenario, we live happily ever after. Worst case scenario, we have a really great relationship that we each learn a tremendous amount from. I personally feel that the happily ever after with her is possible, but the logical part of my heart says, "don't count on it just yet." I suppose that's a natural reaction based on my past relationships.

In the meantime, I'm happy, content, and very much in love with her. Very much.

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