too much?
2003-05-29, 9:04 a.m.

I'm feeling down today. Mostly because I have to shell out $400.00 to fix my car. I wanted to buy a new car a few weeks ago, but MyLove and I decided against it. Why? I'm not really sure actually. I guess so that I could save money...but so much for saving.

I'm also down because MyLove has seemed to get even more distant from me since our last discussion in which she said she'd try not to be distant. Go figures. I'm just at the point right now that I'm rehearsing what I'm going to say when I break up with her.

But I don't want to break up with her, I really don't. I know that I'm nearing that point of no return though, I can feel it.

I think I'm going to start playing her game though. I hate to say that, but I don't see much of a choice. If she wants to miss me, well then she'll miss me alright. After all I am supposed to be doing what makes me happy right? So if I feel like going to visit friends, or seeing a show, or going to church, whatever...I might as well do it. Even if it means missing some precious days off together.

Oh hell, who knows. I'm just sad. I want her to hold me, kiss me, tell me she loves me. Is that too much to ask for? No it's not. But it may be too much for her to give.

last - next