my father the loser
2003-06-16, 1:57 p.m.

Fuck it. The witch is at lunch, and I have more to write.

Yesterday was Father's Day and I called my dad. I wasn't going to. I really wasn't. But I did. Why? I don't know.

My dad is a loser. He's a good guy and all, but a loser who can't stick to anything in life. He's never held a job for more than four years, he's never been any kind of a real dad, never stuck to anything.

Last night after he called me back to return the message I left for him. I cried. During our chat, he babbled on and on about his new religion, about his fasting...seems he hasn't eaten food since May 30th, about the crafts that his deceased third wife left, and about everything in his mundane world...but nothing about me. He specifically did NOT ask about MyLove, as now that he has suddenly found God, I am therefore, going to hell.

I laid in bed and I cried and MyLove talked to me, and she told me I can't let it get to me. I know this, but how do you not let the fact that out of the two parents you're born with, God chose to take the one who loved you unconditionally, and leave you with the loser who can't find enough reasons not to love you at all.

I'm sad, and I'm angry. But most of all I miss my mom. Why is she dead? And he is still alive? Why is that???

last - next