time will tell
2003-06-17, 9:57 a.m.

It started out to be a better day than yesterday....but at 8:00 I found myself in the midst of a sea of Baptists. Seriously. There is a National Baptist Convention downtown and it took me 45 minutes to drive the one mile from the end of the freeway to a parking garage to get to work. I ended up parking at this garage simply because I could see it taking at least another half hour to get to the parking lot I usually park in. I'm sure that many would say I'm going to Hell for the words I was saying while hoping my car wouldn't overheat! That's okay, they can all join with my dad in his opinion.

Speaking of my dad, he sent me an email today. Of course it was, what it means to be a Christian! Give me a fucking break!

Last night MyLove and I had a rather enlightening conversation about our future. She mentioned that she wants to buy a house...fine, I knew that, but I always assumed she meant, buy a house with me. She didn't. She meant buy her own house, and just let me live there or something. I told her that I would not accept that. If she and I are going to be a couple/family, I need the security of having my name on "our" assets too. She tried to pull the, "well do you really think I'd leave you out in the cold if we split up" routine. I said, no I didn't think she would, but I don't want to be with her for 10 years, paying into her house, buying furniture for her house, keep up her house, and then she decides she wants out, and I've got nothing. I told her that I want us to be a traditional family someday, with joint account, joint expenses, etc. She said, okay. Somehow, I don't think it will be that simple.

The conversation opened my eyes though. MyLove is selfish. She wants what is hers to be hers, and mine to be mine and for me to pay half of all our expenses, even though I make less than half of what she makes. I don't see that as being fair. Maybe that's me. In my mind a family means we combine everything....but then again, I'm not sure if she knows how a family works.

This just adds to my questions of whether or not this is actually going to work. I guess only time will tell.

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