5 days and counting
2005-06-20, 9:02 a.m.

This is the countdown to my vacation. The last full week of work, therefore I KNOW it's going to suck. But I'm going to try and keep an open mind.

This weekend was good. I'm still bummed about being so broke, but we are going to be okay. Eagle's parents will help, I know that, I just hate to depend on them. It makes it look like we can't handle our money, but in truth it's because Eagle spends it all on pot!

So we are planning to camp for a couple of days next week. We'll just have to see how that goes.

Eagle was good this weekend. We went to see Don Henley and Stevie Nicks in concert. Eagle's brother got us the tickets through his work and they were great seats! The concert was really great too.

Sunday Eagle spent the day whining about her back hurting. Not to say it doesn't hurt her, but it just grinds on me that she whines about it and acts like she's going to die. On top of that, she was pissed from the get go that I didn't get her anything for "father's day" because she got me stuff for "mother's day." (the cats are our children). I told her that I was sorry I didn't get her anything, but her feelings were hurt for the day. Whatever. Everyday is like Father's day around there. I spoil her rotten all the time, she doesn't need ANOTHER day just for that. I swear.

But anyway the day was spent with me waiting on her because she couldn't move. Cry me a river. Do you sense a bit of apathy on my part?

So yeah I'm still feeling claustrophobic. I still want to be free. Why is it that I feel like I need a BETTER reason to leave her? Like my happiness just isn't enough? I'm working on it though. I'm working through it all and I know that I don't want to spend my life unhappy and as it looks right now, if I stay that is my option. But I also know that I can't give up yet. When can I? I have no idea, but I trust that I will know when the time comes.

So anyway, here I am at work, and my goal is to have ALL my work done, and my desk clean and sparkly before I leave for vacation.

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