disappointed
2004-06-24, 8:58 a.m.

Man do I feel guilty now. What was it, just a week or so ago that I was talking about how Detroit hasn't had any problems is forever? And then one sick bastard and eight bullets can undo all those years of work to rebuild the city's reputation.

I know it's not my fault for writing about it, but damn....it just sucks. All the way around.

I spent the past two evenings with Eagle. I found myself getting closer to her again. Not sure what's going on there. I do know that right now I'm craving some alone time. I am going to go home tonight and be by myself for the evening. I think I may do that tomorrow too. I just need some space.

Last night when the shooting happened and it was on the news Eagle got totally freaked out. And then got upset with me because I wasn't MORE freaked out. I told her that it was horrible what happened, but I don't feel the need to stare at the t.v. all night and feel bad. I asked her if she thinks that makes me a bad person? She never really answered it, but I think she felt that I should have been more emotional about it. I don't agree. I felt bad for the victims and for the city, and I continue to feel for them, but does it have to bring my whole mood down? I don't think so. In fact, I know it doesn't. And that doesn't make me a bad person. I think it actually makes me a pretty healthy person. Besides I feel everyone I meets pains anyway, I don't need to try and focus on people I don't know who are feeling pain. I can support them with well wishes in my mind and that can be enough.

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