like a great big zit
2003-06-26, 10:10 a.m.

It really does feel like the pressure has been released. I got home last night and MyLove was actually giggly! I haven't seen her so bubbley in a long time. It really melted my heart.

She asked me how I was feeling and what I'd thought about. I told her that I was feeling like the bubble has burst and released all the pressure. She said, "sort of like a great big zit?" I laughed and agreed.

I also told her that now that I understand what is at the core of her feelings, it helps me to deal with it. I told her that I am going to try and just love her...period. Not love her if she gives me x amount of kisses or hugs, but just love her.

That's not to say that eventually I might just come to realize that she is NOT the one for me and at that point I can move on. But until then, if I expect unconditional love from her, then I need to be able to show unconditional love to her. If I want a hug or a kiss, I need to make the move and not get depressed when she doesn't....and maybe, just maybe, she will "learn" how to love me, the way that I want to be loved.

At any rate, I feel peaceful and happy. More so than I have felt in a long time.

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