am I horrible?
2003-07-01, 10:29 a.m.

The bad news....my grandpa passed out in the yard yesterday and was taking to emergency via ambulance. He is fine. He just over exerted himself.

The good news....when I called MyLove to tell her I was going to the hospital to be with him and drive him home if necessary, she asked if I wanted her to go with me!!! Then, she actually did go with me. And she made me laugh and relax and she kissed me and wow....she really does love me.

Technically, when I first told her about having to go to the hospital, I told her I'd call her when I found anything out. Then we hung up. But she called back five minutes later to ask if I wanted her to go. My heart melted so much, and my eyes welled up, and it was so emotional. I know I'm kinda sappy, but it just showed me how much she really does care. I love her so much!

In other news...I sneaked a peak at her cell phone bill....now mind you the bill was from the middle/end of May, but I counted that she called TheExfromHEll 13 times in one day!!! What possible reason could she have to do that? But to her credit, the calls from the middle of May to the end of June decreased steadily. As of June 22, she was still talking to her several times a week, but at least it was not every single day, many times a day. And, yeah I feel somewhat guilty for checking on her, but dammit I have to do something to know she is complying with my request. And...it does seem as if she's trying.

Okay, I feel like shit that I don't trust her...but isn't there something that says a person, once they lose your trust, has to earn it back? Well, that's what I'm doing...am I horrible?

Oh and HAPPY CANADA DAY!

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