long weekend
2005-07-18, 9:44 a.m.

I'm here and alive and approved to travel to San Antonio, TX next month for training. Woo Hoo. Great news to come in to on a Monday morning. I'm currently on hold with the the travel agency to make my flight reservations. The training center makes our hotel reservations and we'll be staying at the Mariott. It looks very nice. Depending on funds, Eagle may be going with me. She'll hang out at the hotel during the day and we'll spend the evening together. I figure it's probably better to take her with me than to leave her to her own devices at home. But that's all contingent on the money for the air fare.

So we had a great weekend. We went to Ann Arbor for a lesbian euchre tournment and it was great fun. Eagle did not drink, nor did she take pills. She was basically herself and she was wonderful. She came across smart, funny, witty, sexy. I enjoyed watching her and watching others react to her. I think it went a long way in boosting her self-esteem. Her only complaint was that it was boring to not be getting messed up at a party. I told her that that is life. That is how adults behave. Life isn't always about pushing the limits and going over the top. It's about restraint at times, maturity, and common sense, and it's not boring. But it may take some getting used to.

Saturday we had a very quiet day at home. We argued somewhat, we talked about our relationship. I told her that I've been unhappy for awhile. She said she's not that bad. I agreed. But I told her that she does not realize the stress her using puts on me and I do not want to live like that forever. She keeps talking about changing it, but she doesn't do it. Finally we stopped talking about it and just agreed to keep on working on it and see how it goes. But she did end up saying that if I was truly unhappy with her, that she will let me go peacefully. She said she loves me enough to let me go if that is truly what I want. I have to say that hearing those words from her, took some pressure off of me. I think she meant that too. I doubt that she wouldn't call me a lot for awhile, but I am pretty sure she would let me go.

Sunday we went to see War of the Worlds, and then we came home and watched Boogeyman. We cuddled on the couch, we talked of our love for each other and we enjoyed each other's company.

Eagle was clean from alcohol and caffeine pills all weekend, which was great. She's going through some withdrawals. She gets crabby quickly, and she lacks energy, but she made it through great.

My dad has proven to me that he isn't really worth much. Eagle wrote him last week telling him about my promotion and that I was having a hard time with missing my mom, and maybe he could call me and talk to me. He never called, he never answered the email. So Eagle sent a follow up one the day that he had sent the AMA link to me. His response was the typical mindless christian follower response. He put no original thought into it, quoting the words of his fellow brain washed sheep. I read it and laughed. Eagle read it and was pissed. Eventually my laughter turned to sorrow. He has really chosen this path and once again put me aside. I don't know what I expected, this should not be surprising me. I plan to write him soon, but I'm taking my time to formulate my response.

Other than all that, I had a great weekend, and now I must finish making my travel arrangements.

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