What to do
2004-07-20, 8:39 a.m.

I'm feeling less blah today. I've got something bothering me though. This Saturday is my friend and her husband's anniversary party. I've known about it for awhile and am planning to go. My problem is whether or not to bring Eagle. I've already told her that I'm NOT taking her and she seems okay with it. But I think that I'd really like to bring her with me. So why don't I? Well because my friends that will all be there are still pretty pissed at Eagle for what happened a few months ago. And I don't blame them, but the fact is, I've chosen to give her another chance and I think that they should as well.

I know if I brought her, everyone would be pleasant, but would it hamper my fun? Would she feel uncomfortable? Would it create stress for the guests of honor? Am I just stressing way too much over this or what?

I'm back to the point where I enjoy spending as much time with Eagle as I can, and an evening out with her and my friends sounds nice. But....damn I think I worry way too much about other people all the time.

So, I still haven't decided what to do. I'm thinking of calling my friend who's having the party and see her thoughts. Or just go alone and then bring Eagle to the NEXT thing, which will give them more time to see that she is treating me very well.

I wish sometimes I hadn't told so many people what happened, but then again they were there for me when I needed them. The way Eagle has been for the majority of the past two months has been wonderful. Now she's employed, she's been completely alcohol free, taking her meds as prescribed, seeing her counselor regularly, and most of all behaving like a 30-something year old adult. It's been amazing to watch this transition. I'm so proud of her and want to share that pride with my friends. Damn.

Guess I'll figure it out eventually. Comments are welcome.

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