Feels damn good
2004-07-26, 8:43 a.m.

I had a really great weekend. Friday Eagle and I spent at home together just relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Saturday morning we woke up and decided to stay in bed for awhile and enjoy each other. Saturday evening I went to the anniversary party and Eagle stayed home and enjoyed her evening to herself. She gave me no problems whatsoever about going to the party. At the party I had a pretty good time, but I missed Eagle. Everyone there was a part of a couple, except my ex-husband, and one other lady there. And, as it turns out, the ex-husband and this single lady hooked up and spent many hours down in the basement alone. It was just like when we were married! I was not jealous at all, just glad he had a good time.

I left around Midnight and went home to Eagle, who had just gotten up to get a midnight snack. We went upstairs and curled up and fell asleep together. Sunday, we went to Home Depot and bought the paint for the two bathrooms and the bedroom. So next weekend we start the painting.

Other than being completely broke this weekend, I had a great time. Eagle showed me a side of herself that I have just begun to see. Everyday she shows me why I gave her a second chance. I'm glad that I did. And I believe time will prove this the right move for me.

Although I still believe that I'll never love anyone the way that I loved MyExLove, I don't necessary believe that it can't be just as good if not better. With MyExLove, I loved her totally, faults and all, but I could not let myself be loved like that. I tried to be "perfect" for her. I was afraid to disappoint her. I was afraid to let her see any part of me that wasn't perfect. With Eagle, I know that she loves me, faults and all. She loves everything about me, even those things that I hate about myself. This is a new experience for me.

It's time to let myself be loved for all that I am and for all that I am not. And it feels damn good.

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