frustrated
2003-07-28, 9:44 a.m.

You know when you were a kid and your mom would say, "okay 10 more minutes and then you have to go to bed." And you would think, I'll just be as quiet as I can, and maybe she'll forget. She didn't forget often though did she? Well MyLove didn't forget that she's moving out either. Saturday we got boxes and we packed her stuff. She's moving next weekend.

I am feeling frustrated. I feel like I've FINALLY got what I wanted and needed from her...and now she's leaving. Fuck!

I asked her not to go. But I told her I wouldn't beg. I told her not to stay for me. I told her to do what she needs to do. But I also told her she's running away. I told her I'm a good catch and she's risking losing me by doing this.

The only reason she can give me for moving, now that we're getting along, is that we moved too soon. But I say that's a cop out. But who am I? Just the person that is NOT IMPORTANT enough to her to stick it out and work through her fears.

Another surprise happened on Sunday. She told me that TheExfromHell called to say she had put her resignation in and was moving back to Michigan. MyLove was concerned that she was moving for her. She said she needed to let TheExFromHell go. I said I though she'd already done that. But, apparently, as usual I am the niave pitiful shithead again. MyLove had been telling TheExFromHell, just how miserable she had been living with me. So yes, once again, I got treated like shit while TheExFromHell got to listen to MyLove vent. And, I'm sure, add her two cents.

But you know what? What the fuck ever. I don't give a shit anymore. MyLove called TheExFromHell and told her not to move here for her. The ExfromHell took it well supposedly. But then called back later angry that she felt MyLove had led her on. And I wouldn't be surprised if she had led her on. But again I DON'T CARE!

Next week I'll be living alone, but I won't be single. I'll deal with how I feel about that then I guess.

I have decided one thing though. If I hear MyLove say anything along the lines of "I have to let TheExfromHell go" again.....it's over. Done. Finished.

Oh, but did I mention we had a lot of great, hot sex? As well as laughs, played games, and enjoyed each other's company? But I suppose that was all an act to keep me happy until she moves out....at least that's what I'm feeling.

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