balls of steel
2003-07-31, 8:52 a.m.

Balls of Steel I tell you! Last night MyLove left her cell phone at home when she went to work. She NEVER does that, so I'm sure she just forgot it. Anyway, this morning, curiousity got the best of me and I checked the incomming call log. Sure enough, TheExFromHell had called. Now keep in mind that they are supposed to have cut off ALL contact. So I erased the call.

This morning when MyLove got home from work and I was waiting for my ride I asked her if she'd talked to TheExfromHell. She said that she talked to her briefly yesterday. I said, what about Monday or Tuesday. She said no. Then she looked at me quizzically and asked why? I said because I asked you to cut off all contact. I said that before I never asked her if she had talked to her, but now I am asking and I'm going to keep asking. She again asked why. I said because you said yourself that you can't be friends with her, and that you would cut off all contact, and that is what I expect.

Then I told her about the call that I erased. Just as my ride pulled up. I leaned over, kissed, said I loved her. She stared at me. I said, "don't look at me as if I'm being unreasonable, cause I'm not. But, I can be unreasonable if you like." And I walked out the door.

And I feel pretty good actually. She needs to know that I refuse to sit back and just "trust" that she is doing what I want her to do. Doing what she promised she would do. That person is gone. I am not going to be afraid to ask the hard questions anymore. I am not going to be afraid to speak my mind with her anymore. In my head, she's already got one foot out the door....I'm not going to hang on to her. If she wants to go, she can go. If she wants to stay, it's time she stay by my rules.

So yeah, I'm feeling kind of powerful right now. Sure hope it doesn't wear off.

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