Big Explosion
2005-08-01, 10:13 a.m.

My entry this morning is late because I was in my first bigwig meeting ever. OH MY GOD. The hilarity of it is that this meeting consists of mostly men with egos bigger than the room will allow. Very interest, I must say. I almost goofed too because I thought the meeting started at 9:00, not 8:30. Had it not been for my co-worker leaving me a message to be there at 8:30, I�d have been a half hour late. Not a good first impression.

So Saturday the whole money issue came to a huge and explosive head. I was so mad because Eagle and her mother have been talking about it, and Eagle came clean to her mom about all the money she�d been spending on pot, ephedra, and what not. But her mother says, �well the money I gave you was enough to cover that. Seekingme, needs to stand up and be the bigger person and take responsibility for her share in this too.� I was floored. First of all her mother gave her $600.00 a month. She spent $500.00 alone on pot, and at least another $200.00 a month on ephedra. Not to mention her spending sprees of $50-$60.00 at hardware stores, or where ever else. Or the whole, �I saw we had more money in the bank then you said, so I took some out� crap. Plus, she was up to three packs of day in cigarettes. I was livid. I screamed, cried, carried on. I�ll be damned if I�m going to be held responsible for her shit. Shit I�ve been yelling at her to fix for a year now. At that point I was ready to tell her that she can have her mother pay all the bills and I�ll just pay a set amount for rent every month. That way I can keep my money and she can find a way to pay for her shit all by herself and I can then prove that it is not ME that is spending this money carelessly. Part of the reason I was so hurt by this was because I have gone so out of my way to make sure our bills are paid every month. I have gone without going out to lunch, but once or twice a month. I don�t buy myself any new cloths. I�ve need new shoes for a long time, but have not spent the money on it. I go too long between haircuts and colorings, and even then I go to boric�s for the cheapest cut, and I color my own hair to save money. When I was single I spent money whatever way I wanted. I bought a new outfit when I wanted, I went out to eat, I got massages, manicures, etc.

Anyway, to our credit, we talked it out and we made up. I told her that from now on though I�m not giving her money for her addictions. She agreed to that. I also told her that I�m no long going to be so unselfish. If I need something, I�m going to buy it. Period. That is my own fault for being so giving and then I end up being taken advantage of, and then blamed for overspending ANYWAY. Enough is enough.

So that was that. The rest of the weekend was great, and I found out a great new way to exercise, that I LOVE. It�s called Dance Dance Revolution. It�s a video game that comes with a pad that you dance on. You have to keep up with the rhythm and hit the right foot pads. It�s awesome. I exercised twice this weekend for over an hour each time. I have to go buy one of these myself....my first self-indulgent purchase maybe.

But I�ve got work to do, so I�d better get busy.

Oh and yes it has now been one week of no smoking....yeah me!

last - next