letter to my love....my ex love
2003-08-05, 2:03 p.m.

Dear MyLove,

I�m not sure what to say to you. At least not sure what to say that you don�t already know.

I love you, that�s for sure. But I�m afraid of you. Afraid of how much you can and do hurt me over and over.

In my view, you have chased TheEx all these years and she has always rejected you. But you love her, like I love you, so you allowed it to happen, as have I.

When you found me, I think that you did love me and you wanted it to work. But I�m too convenient for you. I don�t push you away and you�re used to being pushed away. I don�t know why, but you�re convinced that happiness for you does not exist.

After you found me, suddenly the one person that you have loved so much wants to give you all that you�ve wanted from her. You were then faced with loving me, but wanting her and what she was offering.

I know you tried to balance the two. But she stepped things up by moving back to Michigan. And now you feel that you owe her the chance to show you that she can give you what you�ve wanted from her for so long.

But you�re scared. You are afraid that once you succumb to her again she will reject you again. And then you will have lost us both.

I�m not going to say that her rejecting you is not a possibility, but sometimes you have to take chances in life. If she is really what you want, then you need to let me go and give her your undivided love and see what happens.

As it is MyLove, you�ve already lost me. I am taking myself out of the equation. I do not want to be a choice you make. I can�t see how I could ever trust that you won�t regret that choice someday and break my heart again.

So what you need to decide now is, do you risk your heart one more time for what TheEx is offering. Or, do you choose to be alone for now?

Obviously, TheEx feels strongly for you. She seems to be ready to give you what you want. Are you ready to risk the chance of being hurt by her one more time?

Regardless of everything, I will always love you. I will always be happy that you came into my life. And I do want a friendship with you, in time.

If you do choose to be with TheEx though and she does hurt you again. I encourage you to do something to stop it from happening again in the future. That is what I�m doing now.

I refuse to let you hurt me anymore. I don�t deserve it. I love myself too much for that.

Lastly, remember what you�ve always said, �if it�s meant to be, it will be.�

I will forgive you in time, and if you need me I�ll always be there for you.

I love you with all my heart.

SeekingMe

last - next