Robitussin and Poker
2006-08-07, 9:04 a.m.

I had the strangest dream last night. Basically, my mom was alive, but she was in jail! I kept telling everyone what she did and it was a very minor offense, but some how she ended up doing several months in jail and then having to do work release. All I remember was that her letters to me were always bitching about the other women and how they always goof off and get away with it. How weird is that? Especially if you knew that my mother never broke a law in her life. She never even had a speeding ticket in all her life. So that dream was very strange.

This weekend was okay. Friday however, Eagle decided to binge on Robitussin. We had just had a very long discussion both through email and on the phone earlier that day about how I'm very tired of her using and I'm feeling down and depressed and everything always seems to about her and her issues. On and on and on we talked and she she promised that she would stop messing up. I told her not to promise, but to just do it. So when I get home that night from work she is on the couch spaced out on robitussin. What the fuck? I wasn't even mad though. I thought whatever, I'll just go play my computer game. Which is exactly what I did. All night long.

She spent the evening between the couch and the computer. Alternating between apologizing and wishing she hadn't taken the pills and completely spacing out.

The next day she again apologized over and over again. I told her that her apologies mean nothing anymore. I told her that frankly I would leave her if I had the energy and the money to do so, but I don't. I told her to save her apologies and just get her shit together because one day in the future I won't be too tired or too broke to leave her, and I will do just that.

So of course she said she'd never do it again. Yet around 5:00 that day she started getting cravings and wanted to go to the store. We talked her through it and she didn't go, but I can't always be there for her like that and I can't keep her a prisoner in the house forever. Besides I don't want to live like a warden, and I've said that a bazillion times now. But truthfully, I'm too damn tired to go anywhere right now. But it won't be that way forever and when I decided to make my move, I will make it and I won't look back.

Other than that, it was a good weekend. I played at party poker dot come and entered the free tournament. The jackpot is $42.50 and there were 11000 players. But I did pretty good. I place in the 800's somewhere. I would have won, but I made a bad call and when all in with Ace King suited and of course what comes up? all fives, fours, and sixes so a damn pair of fives beat me! Blech. Oh well. I'll be the poker star yet!

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