Feeling sexually frustrated
2006-08-08, 9:28 a.m.

Well I said good bye to my car last night. It was sad. That was my first brand new car ever, but the three year lease was up and it was time to turn her in. The good news is, I have no more $280.00 payment a month, so that's good. But I'll miss having a cool looking, nice driving, fast car.

Eagle was good last night and the night before, so that's going okay. I've felt distanced from her and she mentioned it, and I told her that it's difficult to be intimate with someone you can't trust. She understood what I was saying and promised to try and make it better. We'll see.

This paragraph my be a bit sexually graphic so if that makes up upset then stop reading here. So I don't know if you remember, hell I barely do, but back in the early days of this journal, I used to describe some of the overwhelming feelings that sex brought out of me. Well I haven't had that in a long time. I can't remember the last time that I had an orgasm that lasted for longer than a few second and that made me scream like I used to. I can't remember that insatiable feeling I used to have for sex. It truly seems that if you don't use it, you do lose it. Not to say that I'm not in the mood anymore, I do sometimes get there, but then it just doesn't seem worth it to get undressed and all that hooey. Isn't that sad?? Besides Eagle has gone from being sexual adventurous back in the beginning to the point where she won't even let me reciprocate at all. Now the thing is, I left my husband because I like women. I like to feel them, touch them, everything....you get the idea. Now it's like I'm back to having no way to satisfy that part of myself anymore.

I've got to get this part resolved or this relationship is doomed. I truly believe that you need a healthy sex life to maintain the connection that you and your partner have.

The good news is, that I am very attracted to Eagle. She is definitely my type....so I just need to figure out a way for us to get back to what we had sexually in the beginning.

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