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2005-08-10, 1:19 p.m.

Well, I'm not really sure where to start. I'm truly at a loss here. I guess I'll start at the beginning, at least for me.

Yesterday after work I was waiting outside for Eagle to pick me up. She never showed up. Finally I got THE call from her aunt who said that Eagle was in an accident and she had her cousin (her aunt's 15 year old daughter) in the car with her. The only thing she knew was that neither one was hurt, but that Eagle was being "processed" by the State Police. Lovely.

After we picked up her cousin she filled us in. It seems that Eagle was acting strangely anyway, then she stopped off to buy a bottle of vodka, which she proceeded to swing directly from the bottle. It didn't take long to hit her and she started weaving on the expressway. She ended up going over medians and sideswiping another vehicle. All the while a witness was on the phone with the police reporting her. She lamely tried to run from the police but was apprehended and taken into custody. The charged her with a bunch of stuff and let her go without bond.

I'm still numb right now. I'm glad that no one was hurt, but I really don't know what else to feel. Anger I suppose, sadness, uncertainty. Did I mention she was driving MY CAR? Well she was. I called my insurance company, found a collision shop, and it is currently being transported from impound to them to be fixed.

Eagle is remorseful, but scared to death that she'll get jail time seeing as this is her third offense. The last one was 8 years ago, however. Not sure if that matters or not. I have told her that she MUST get into a detox and treatment program within the next few days. To her credit she has spent the morning on the phone with various places. She will go into treatment willingly, and it seems, gladly.

I am just trying to get through this week at work, and focus on my trip that is coming up on Sunday. I'll be gone till Friday, and hopefully Eagle will be inpatient somewhere by then.

Other than that...I don't know really want to do. I haven't really broken down, I'm kind of numb really. I almost look to this as a blessing in someways, no one got hurt, but this will force Eagle to do something. She may end up in jail for awhile too. Not really sure what'll happen with that, but I'm not trying to think about it right now. Just trying to go through this with one foot in front of the other.

I have to say though that without her Aunt and Uncle I'd be alot worse off. They took me into their home last night, hugged me, assured me of their help, picked up Eagle from the police, gave her hell, and were just sooo there for me. I am so thankful I can't express just how much. Without them, I'd have had to do this alone.

That's about it. I'm going to back to concentrate on work and drowned out the panic that is creeping in around the edges of my mind.

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