last day
2005-08-24, 9:16 a.m.

Well it�s Wednesday, but it�s Friday for me. I�ve got tomorrow and Friday off. We�re going camping and I�m looking forward to it. Eagle�s been good, not crabby at all. She�s been depressed and complains of having the �squirlies.� But I keep telling her that they will go away eventually. We�ve gone to bed very early all week, which is good. I�ve got lots of sleep.

Tonight is my counseling appointment. I haven�t been in since Eagle�s incident. I sometimes wonder why I�m not more mad about it. But I think deep down in side, I truly believe that something like this had to happen in order for Eagle to finally put forth the effort she kept �saying� she�d do. I know there is still a big part of her that wants to just say forget and use. But she is showing a determination that I have not seen in her before. I hope that she can continue in that direction.

In the meantime, she�s very mopey and requires a lot of coddling. Last night she said, do you ever get tired of giving to me all the time, and never getting back? I said yes, sometimes I do. But when she get�s better she�ll owe me some coddling for awhile. She agreed. But honestly, she does give back in oter

I know that one of the keys to a successful recovery for her, will be to find something to do with her time. She walks around the house with no direction all day long. It�s no wonder she wants to use. I�ve tried to encourage her to do some needlepoint that she likes; to do some reorganization of the cupboards and basement, to try playing some video games, read a book, watch a movie, go for a walk. Hell I�d LOVE a few weeks to do all that whenever I wanted. But she�s not me and I�m not her, and all I can do is encourage. Which is what I do. Hopefully, once she gets a few months clean and gets through the court proceedings, she can go out and find a job. She�s been talking about it more and more. We�ll see.

So that�s about all. I�ve got a meeting to get to. Have a good weekend.

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