it all comes down to trust
2003-08-29, 8:35 a.m.

I am so glad it's Friday. And, for the first time in a while, I'm looking forward to the weekend. MyexLove goes back to work tonight so I won't be seeing her all weekend. But tonight I'm hanging out with Eagle, tomorrow night I have a date to go to dinner and dancing with a woman I've chatted online with for awhile; Sunday I'm spending at home getting ready for my friends to move in; and Monday a BBQ at Eagle's family's house. So it's gonna be a fun and busy long weekend.

Last night was nice. Myexlove picked me up and we went to dinner and we talked and talked and talked. I'm finding so many things about her that I didn't know. She seems to be so much more relaxed than she ever has been. She's admitting to her faults, she's telling me funny stories of her past faults...basically she's no longer trying to be the "solid adult persona" that she always tried to maintain.

The biggest shock was that she leaned over and kissed me on the lips right in the restaurant....she would have NEVER done that before.

Yes we ended up in bed, this time it wasn't so emotional. I held my emotions in check and I took the lead and got her to do something to me that I'd always wanted her to do, but she never had...and man was it good!

Afterwards we talked some more and I sent her on her way. Yeah it kills me to know that she's going back to the apartment she shares at the moment with TheExfromHell, but she doesn't belong to me, and I don't belong to her....so whatever.

I'm still feeling confident and ballsy enough to tell her exactly how I feel and I did last night. I let her have it on a few things...and she apologized and she said she'd make it up to me. We'll see...yeah I still have doubts...and that's what I told her. I said, "MyexLove, loving you is not a problem, I'll always love you, what you need to do is get me to trust you again." And she said she would.

But I'm actually looking forward to spending the evening tonight with Eagle. And she's cooking me ribs!! Yummy.

last - next