Scared
2004-08-30, 9:04 a.m.

I'm freaking out a bit right now. Eagle is really sick. She was up all night coughing up blood. Not good. I couldn't even stay home to take her to the doctor because two people are out at work today. I feel so bad that I couldn't help her today. I'm so worried. I'm afraid that she's going to die. I really am afraid that finally we'll be happy and content and she'll die. She needs to quit smoking, or at least cut way down. What am going to do? Finally I'll be happy and loved and then that person will die? What is up with that?

On top of all this, I got a phone call from my dad yesterday. I thought that it was odd, because he NEVER calls me. But lo and behold he did....to tell me that he's getting married. He's met the love of his life through Jesus Christ or Savior and now, three months later, he is marrying her. He whatever floats his boat I guess. I'm glad that he's happy. It's been almost two years since his third wife died. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I hope she's nice, and I hope that they can be happy. What more can I say?

I'm so damned preoccupied about Eagle that I can hardly think right now. Please say some prayers for us that she will get better and we can live a long and happy life together. If she dies....I just don't really know what I'd do. I'm scared. Really scared.

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