do I even love her anymore?
2003-09-03, 9:01 a.m.

I think I'm confused. One minute I love MyexLove completely, the next I think, "eh...not so much." Is that weird or what? What is going on? Am I just in protection mode, or is there a real crack in my love for her?

And then I spend time with Eagle and I feel funny and giddy and relaxed with her, like I've never felt with MyexLove. What does that mean?

Eagle and I can talk about nothing and everything. We seem to connect on a different level then most people...almost to the point of finishing each other's thoughts and sentences. I've only known her a month!

Oh dear God, what am I doing? Please don't let me fall in love with Eagle right now. I can't handle that. And what about MyexLove? Should I tell her to stop trying to get me back? Do I want her back anymore? What the hell is going on?

I just have to stop...stop thinking about it, obsessing about it, dreaming about it...whatever...just stop. Give myself some time and space. Take one day at a time.

Am I feeling better? No, not really, but I will.

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