one day at a time
2005-09-14, 10:14 a.m.

My second training session went even better than the first yesterday so that�s awesome. I really can�t tell you how happy I am in my new job. It�s almost like a dream come true. Now if Icould just telecommute part of the week, life would be perfect...at least work life.

Eagle got her notice in the mail that her diver�s license has been suspended for a year. Yucky. We both thought that it wouldn�t happen until the court date...but we were wrong. So she has to now find something she can ride her bike to. She was pretty depressed about it last night, hell so was I. I mean it�s going to be a pain that I have to drive everywhere for a year, I can�t send her to the store, and not to mention that she�ll be bitching about it for a year and I have to hear it!

Things are still going well with us. She still hasn�t had any alcohol or gone over her prescribed amount of pills. But she did manage to get a small amount of weed, and as of Monday I know she has taken ephedra. So I�m disheartened. But I�m thinking to myself....why are you surprised? I mean did you REALLY think that she�d just up and quit it all with not slip ups? Unfortunately, yes I did think that, but the reality is this is a constant battle. So, tonight I�m going to my Course In Miracles group. Eagle says she wants to go too....we�ll see. Sunday it�s back to church, Monday I�m going to Alanon. Period. I�ve got to stay vigilant.

But Eagle is handling this pretty well. I know in the past it would have sent her off the deep end for a few days, now she�s talking about �taking one day at a time.� That�s good. I still have the faith.

I think I finally illustrated to her that smoking weed only leads her to want more stuff. It wasn�t until she smoked again that she then wanted the ephedra, and then mentioned wanting beer. It�s such a tricky thing living with addiction. You never know what is going to trigger stuff....well drug use is obvious, but other things are not. I wish she would reach out to a sponsor or someone like that. I can only offer so much help, she needs someone who h as been there done that and lived to tell about it. But I can�t make her reach out....period.

Well that�s it for now. Back to work.

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