trying not to be discouraged
2003-09-19, 11:42 a.m.

Well now I've really gone and done it. It seems that TheExFromHell now wants to read my journal. I figure what the hell. Maybe it'll give her some insight on the hell I went through because of her.

I met someone new from online last night. It was nice. We just chatted with her and her roommate and her 18 year old daughter. It was relaxing and it really is helping me to get to know new people and their stories.

MyexLove gets jealous whenever I meet someone else. I guess I can understand that, but she has got to understand that as long as she is living with TheExfromHell, I can't commit to her. That would be stupid on my part. I also think that I'd lose respect for myself if I allowed that to happen.

Yes, I do want her back. But right now I'm happy to be single and dating. I can wait it out for awhile and really concentrate on me in the meantime.

What's up with me and Eagle? Not sure anymore. I still don't have any feelings for her other than just caring about her and her well being. But I don't love her and I really don't even have the lust that I had for her. I'm not sure why.

I got an email the other day from a woman that I had been talking to through emails and on the phone, but she had just disappeared. Well apparently her ex came back and needed her for awhile and that is why she disappeared. But, she says she now sees that it won't work with her and her ex and is hoping to have that resolved soon.

Man...what is it with this lesbian drama? My Lord, I thought heterosexual relationships were complicated. But compared to lesbian relationships they are a walk in the damn park.

Oh well...I'm learning and I'm growing and I'm trying really hard not to be discouraged.

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