The Bible again
2005-09-19, 8:57 a.m.

So it was a good weekend. We bowled well on Friday. We took two out of three games, plus points. Second week of bowling and Eagle is still not craving alcohol as much as she thought she would.

Saturday we went to Eagle's parents so her mom could fit me with the clothes she is making for me. They are coming out really nice. I feel special to have someone making clothes for me. No one has since I was a kid and my grandma sewed.

Saturday night we had Eagle's cousin over to babysit. We played some video games, and then went to bed early. Sunday we had our friends Janet and Denise over and had a nice quiet afternoon. Eagle cooked a great meal and we all ate WAY too much food.

Then Eagle and I settled in with some snacks to watch the Emmy's. However, we only made it half way through before we fell asleep. I don't even know who won what!

Then I get into work this morning and there's an email from my dad. Last week he had left a voice mail on my phone about coming to a revival at his church and maybe hearing the "truth" from someone other than him, might help me. I ignored the call. Well the email was again a plea for me to come to his revival. I wrote him back saying:

"Who's truth am I finding? I already have a wonderful relationship with my High Power. What I need is a father who can love me for who I am, but you've never been able to do that, even when I wasn't gay. Until you can call just to say, 'hey kid I love you', or 'I'm proud of you'....don't bother. Sincerely, your spiritually happy, and confident in her afterlife, GAY daughter."

Not sure what I expect, but I'm just so mad. What is up with him? I could almost take it if he had been like this his whole life. But he hasn't. He's been brain washed. This is not him. Not that I ever had a real close relationship with him before, but I knew him enough to know that THIS brainless God fearing, evangical, judgment casting man is NOT HIM. Ugh it frustrates me to no end. I've had an issue with overly zealous relgious nuts who stop thinking for themselves and spew out the bible as if it is the cure for all sinners in the world. The problem with most of them is that they sit in judgment behind the BOOK that says, Thou shalt not judge!!! How hypocritical can you be? Why did my father, my one living parent, have to turn to this hypocrisy? I may as well have lost both my parents. I'd rather have no dad then a mindless robot regurgitating THE WORD to me. Come on.

I love my fellow man, I do not judge, I treat others as I would like to be treated, and I love women. So what? I can't fathom it. I'll never ever see their point. I didn't see it before I knew I was gay, and I won't now. I cannot believe that a Creator would create the ability for us to love one another the way that we do, and then condem us for loving the "wrong" ones. We were created in love, to be loved, and to love.....it DOES NOT MATTER which sex we feel that love for more. Why can't they see that? When will this endless, mindless, argument be over? Ever?

Well I guess I'm done spewing, but no matter how bravado I am about my dad and his choice, it hurts. It hurts to the core that the one parent who could take me into his arms, kiss my forehead, and tell me how much he loves me....won't all in the name of the Bible. That just sucks.

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