Stop comparing them dammit
2004-09-24, 8:32 a.m.

Five lobster tails I ate! Yes five! They were yummy. Dinner was nice, Eagle's dad was more talkative than I'd ever heard him. Eagle's mom introduced me to all their friends as "Eagle's Girlfriend." It was cool. The country club was beautiful too. I felt like I fit in fine. That was my biggest fear, but it seems I had nothing to fear at all.

I am so thankful it is Friday, you have no idea. And it's payday, not that it matters much, because by the time I pay all the bills that I owe, I'll have very little left. But at least I can pay them, right?

Eagle maybe getting ready to lose her job. She keeps fucking it up. Hopefully they'll give her another chance, but I don't know. I asked her last night if she would just TRY to give it her best for a few weeks and see how it goes. I don't know. Maybe she's not capable of working after all these years. I sure hope she is. I don't want to be the sole provider in this relationship. Besides, working keeps her out of trouble.

It's times like this when I really miss MyEx. Her work ethic was so great. Actually too great, because I came after her work. But it was nice to be with someone who took some responsibility for their own life. But Eagle told me yesterday that she won't let me down. I guess I'll just have to trust that.

I really need to stop comparing MyEx and Eagle there is no way to compare them. They are as different as two people can be. Besides, its not healthy. I need to let MyEx stay in the past and stop wondering what if. Dammit.

Okay let me get some work done here. Have a good weekend.

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