part two
2005-09-26, 9:36 a.m.

Okay part two....

A few years back, when I first left my ex-husband, and the ex and I were just starting to have problems, I met this cute woman at work. My gaydar went through the roof, so I did some inquiries and my suspicions were correct. I found away to start chatting with her and we became fast friends. I had a HUGE crush on her. She, unfortunately, was in a five year relationship and seemed to be happy as a clam. So, I settled for being friends with her, but always noticed the way my heart skipped a beat when I was around her.

We hung out a lot for awhile, we even went to Pride last year together in Grand Rapids. We spent the night (platonically) together and everything. I even got drunk and confessed my mad crush on her that weekend.

Everytime we hung out, I got the feeling she was feeling somewhat the same way I was feeling toward her. I would catch her staring at me. We seemed to hold our gaze longer, we laughed easily together, it just seemed we clicked a lot.

So....I got an email from her today and her and her girl have split up! You have no idea how that thought made me feel.

It's the first time since I've been with Eagle that I've felt my heart beat for someone else. It scares me.

Here I've been yammering away about committment and yadda yadda yadda, and suddenly I hear that someone I had a crush on before is single and my heart does a flip flop!

What the hell? I am NOT that fickle. Truly I'm not. I'm hoping that by writing this out and getting it out of my head it'll go away.

The only thing that keeps popping into my mind about Trish is, she's funny as hell, she doesn't drink much, she doesn't believe in drug use of any kind, and she works and has great credit. Plus she's absolutely adorable! Ugh!

Okay don't any of you jump on the note button and give me hell please. I KNOW what I've said and I do still believe in committment, but I'm also still alive. And what the hell I don't know what I'm saying anymore.....just PLEASE don't judge me. Thanks.

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