lack of sleep again
2004-09-29, 8:42 a.m.

Just barely made it on time today. My early bus came too early, and my backup bus was late. But I walked in the door at exactly 8:30 this morning. Whew. I didn't have time to get coffee though, so I've got to do that in a few minutes before I fall asleep on my keyboard.

Eagle and I and our two housemates played Trivial Pursuit last night. It was fun, but I didn't get to bed till 11:00 and Eagle then had other ideas, so I didn't actually get to sleep till midnight. So as usually I'm pretty damn tired. But it was worth it. Since Eagle got off the Effexor, her libido has skyrocketed. I'm not complaining in the least.

I was a upset with her, however, because she did not go into work. She had a lame excuse that her clients were all at an activity. I know better and I told her I know better. I tried to get her to actually go in for awhile and check on her clients, but she said she had it under control. I certainly cannot force her to go, so I dropped it. I know how she feels in a lot of ways, this is really the first time in her life where she has actually tried to work consistently. For most of us, that was in our late teens, early 20's. She just so happens to be 33, but she is still fighting that work mentality that we all fought at some time in our early work histories. Hopefully she'll get it together before she loses this job though. All I can do is try to encourage and set a good example. I've learned that the more you push her, the more she resists. It really can be like dealing with a teenager sometimes.

It's not like we couldn't survive on what I make. We could, especially after I've finished paying off all my bills, which I'm close to. It's just that she does so much better when she doesn't have all that time on her hands to get into trouble, or to mope, or whatever. Working is good for her, and she knows it.

I'm so upset with myself. Yesterday I had my counseling appointment, and I forgot to go! I didn't remember until well after the time it was scheduled. It pisses me off for one, because I'll now have to pay that missed appiontment out of my own pocket, and two, I really enjoy going to counseling. Damn. I'm not really sure what I'm getting out of it anymore though. I swear when I was with MyEx, most of my appointments were spent talking about her and TheExFromHell; now that I'm with Eagle, I spend most of the time talking about her. I don't really have much to work out about myself anymore. Maybe I should contemplate not going back for awhile. I don't know. I'd miss my therapist though. She's great.

Well I'd better get myself working now before BossBitch comes back.

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