hate being responsible for her pain
2003-10-02, 7:14 p.m.

This day was so crazy that I never even got a chance to update.

Right now I'm feeling pretty shitty. I've come to the realization that I have to cut all ties with Eagle. She pushed me too far today.

Yesterday she called me a billion times, then today she got all freaky online and made me feel very uncomfortable. Then she called my cell a bunch of times an my home....so I'm done. She won't back off and I can't handle it.

But I feel like shit. I feel like I've let her down. I can't help it. I hate to be the cause of anyone's pain and I especially hate when I can't be there for them to work through the pain.

I think I'm just not cut out for the dating scene. I can't handle hurting people or breaking things off with people.

But what really really pisses me off is that I was honest with her from the beginning, but no matter what I said or did, she made it seem like we were destined to be together. And now that I have finally decided to give MyLove and I a chance, it's like she is grabbing a hold of me even tighter and that is the worst thing she could have done.

I told her to back off, I told her to give it time, I told her that I don't feel the same for her as she does for me. But it doesn't matter. She has her mind made up and refuses to change it.

I can't deal with that. I'm done. I guess it's for the best, but I really am having a hard time with it.

I just hate being responsible for someone's pain.

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