tired
2003-10-09, 8:55 a.m.

I had some strange dreams last night. In all of them, people were yelling at me. I hate that. So of course I slept for shit and now I'm tired. But at least I'm in a pretty good mood.

I had dinner last night with a woman that I'd met online a few months ago. We've emailed, chatted, and talked on the phone and finally we met in person. It was a lot of fun. We talked a lot about past relationships, about MyLove and I, about her ex and it was nice. I think I've made a good new friend. At least I hope so.

I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable about MyLove and I right now. I think it's because we haven't talked nearly as much as we normally do at all this week. And frankly, it's not a bad thing. We both have jobs to do and we can't be spending all the time we used to spend on the phone. But I miss it, and I miss her, and I think my unease comes in because I think that she doesn't miss me. I don't know. It's weird. I'm not going to analyze it. I'm just going to stick to my new self-confident ideas that say if she backs out of this relationship again, then it's her loss. Well it's both of our losses, but I know I'm not going anywhere.....but I am still not 100% sure that she won't.

So after bluntly telling Eagle yesterday that we cannot be friends....what does she do? She calls me twice last night. Ugh. I may have to get meaner with her and I really don't want to....but I think it needs to be done.

I really want to go play in the euchre tournament at the local gay bar tonight, but I'm thinking I may be just too tired to do it. I'll have to see.

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